moved.
i hope i keep it consistent (:
maybe i'll come back one day?
just like i how did it in the past.
maybe..
i'll definitly miss this place.
how many years?
4 years+ ?
my memories, locked in a forbidden faraway land.
unlock, only the happy ones.
i hope i keep it consistent (:
maybe i'll come back one day?
just like i how did it in the past.
maybe..
i'll definitly miss this place.
how many years?
4 years+ ?
my memories, locked in a forbidden faraway land.
unlock, only the happy ones.
jolenekoh(:
new phase
yes, a new phase of life from now on.
graduating from poly is not something happy, as what we had thought 3 years ago, when we just started out.
bittersweet. love-hate situation.
yes it is exactly how my feelings are. sweet for the fact that school's officially out. bitter for the fact that it'll be a whole new world, life and friendships and relations. ending school is like starting out again. we search high and low for what we want in life.
now we have to make choices.
which schools to apply for, which course to apply for. to take a scholarship or not? to work for a year first or to take up part time jobs while waiting for the uni applications.
no more school, no more cca committments.
we come and go, it's all about passion towards your cca now. you wanna come, you come, you wanna leave, you leave. it's up to you whether to support or not, whether to commmit or not, whether to set a good example to your juniors or not.
yes, a new phase of life from now on.
graduating from poly is not something happy, as what we had thought 3 years ago, when we just started out.
bittersweet. love-hate situation.
yes it is exactly how my feelings are. sweet for the fact that school's officially out. bitter for the fact that it'll be a whole new world, life and friendships and relations. ending school is like starting out again. we search high and low for what we want in life.
now we have to make choices.
which schools to apply for, which course to apply for. to take a scholarship or not? to work for a year first or to take up part time jobs while waiting for the uni applications.
no more school, no more cca committments.
we come and go, it's all about passion towards your cca now. you wanna come, you come, you wanna leave, you leave. it's up to you whether to support or not, whether to commmit or not, whether to set a good example to your juniors or not.
-------
i guess at times like this, my thinking is like naive? the things i expect are simple and straightforward. and all i want of the seniors is to, set a good example, give moral support, show our enthusiasm towards this band.
oh well, i should really consider the fact that different people have different perspectives and different people look at things differently. what i expect doesn't mean that people will expect the same things. but the simplest and most basic of all, is to keep your word and not make empty promises.
if you say you will be like this and not follow in the steps of the other, show that you mean your words. i'm utterly disappointed in you. maybe you didn't like what you did last time, but hey, doesn't mean you should build your happiness on top of another's misery right?
you promised, you said that, but you failed.
maybe i didn't know you well enough, or maybe you hid your true thoughts well enough, too well. but this isn't the you i knew. ha, maybe now i'm starting to see things more clearly?
otherwise, give me a good reason.
but i doubt i will get that reason outta your mouth hahahah
ok benefit of doubt, you got talked into it. but where's the good example? oh okay, or maybe it was just once. there won't be any more next time(s).
ok we shall see..
jolenekoh(:
sometimes when someone tells you something, it doesn't mean that the someone needs help. maybe he/she just needs to tell someone and rant bout it.
ok i'm done. that's it. i'm fine.
but i feel like crying out loud.
i don't feel like working on monday!!!
DAMNIT!
jolenekoh(:
is it because i was too narrow minded?
i was confident, yea perhaps overly confident this time round.
why can i be so confident at certain things,
but utterly fail at certain aspects in life?
i'm falling into some kind of dark hole again.
there's nothing i ask for, but happy moments.
i'm angry at myself.
why do i let such things overwhelm me?
why are promises meant to be broken?
jolenekoh(:
after talking to her, i really realise how much it means to me, how much i really miss.
the times we laughed together.
the way i helped u choose the clothes for the game.
can your exams just end quickly and let me get this over and done with? although things may not turn out the way i want, but at least i know, and i will get over it and and, stop wasting my time.
yea i should stop hurting myself and gettting myself into silly trouble.
i ought t say sorry, to myself.
you're one in a million, so am i.
jolenekoh(:
i'm so pissed that i feel like struggling you and scolding *.
damnit.
i'm losing my cool.
maybe i've put too much hopes on you.
maybe i just feel the same way as the other person does, just that i know i have to give you my support and it's not your fault.
maybe i've put you too high in my life.
maybe you're just too much for me to cope.
maybe i'm just too concerned bout you and everything you do affects me.
maybe i should just change,
maybe i should be more understanding,
maybe i should just put others in front of me all the time,
maybe i should just be selfless all my life,
maybe i should just be there always for friends and be alone for myself.
maybe i should just let loose of everything,
maybe i should just stop being paranoid,
maybe i should just stop assuming,
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STOP EVERYTHING.
stop life.
where are you when i need you the most?
this is getting intolerable.
-------
i realise how much i didn't know myself.
i realise that there's just something that i want badly.
i realise that.. maybe, just maybe.. whatever.
i realise that i'm not as strong as who i think i am.
i realise that, i've been holding it out too long.
the person you see elsewhere but here, is not jolene.
jolenekoh(:
pictures for thought. (click to enlarge)
jolenekoh(: